The inconsistency of the permissive parenting style often leaves devoted parents grieving for their parenting mistakes.

Permissive parents have the belief that really showing their child love and feeling their love, in return, is their ultimate goal in parenting.

They do love their children and are highly bonded to them. But their relationship is one of equals rather than as parents to children.

To gain compliance from their children they will often resort to gift giving and even out right bribery, rather than setting boundaries and expecting obedience.

Permissive means to be lenient, liberal, lax and hands-off.

What are the Hallmarks of a
Permissive Parenting Style?

• The parent is responsive but undemanding

• Is accepting and affirmative of the child but makes few demands for responsibility or conduct.

• The permissive parent tends to take a tolerant, accepting attitude toward the child's wants and impulses, including sexual and aggressive impulses.

• Permissive parents have trouble saying no and setting boundaries and guidelines for their children.They tend to be lenient and to avoid asserting authority, or imposing controls or restrictions, or indeed, any confrontation wherever possible.

• Few demands are made for mature behaviour, like displaying table manners, or sharing responsibilities around the home. There are very few rules governing the child such as for bedtimes, homework schedules, mealtimes, or TV watching.

• Permissively raised children are generally allowed to control their own behaviour and to make their own decisions.

• Inconsistent discipline creates problems around lack of responsibility, motivation and self control become more apparent.

Permissive Parenting Style - Defined:

Parenting style has been found to predict child well-being in the areas of social competence, academic performance, psychosocial development, and behaviour problems.

Both parental responsiveness and parental demandingness are important components of good parenting.

The psychologist, Diana Baumrind refers to the two important elements in parenting style: responsiveness and demandingness She defines demand, also referred to as behavioural control, as: The claims parents make on children to become integrated into the family whole, by their maturity demands, supervision, disciplinary efforts and willingness to confront the child who disobeys

Permissive Parenting Style -
Development of the Child

Findings for the permissive parenting style show that it appears to have more negative than positive effects, with children often being impulsive, aggressive, and lacking in independence and in personal responsibility.

Insecurity because of the lack of boundaries also creates problems which leave parents feeling perplexed after they have poured so much love into their children.

A permissive parenting style often creates children who are demanding and selfish, rather than loving and supportive in their approach to others.

The pendulum swing effect from strict, controlling, unresponsive parenting a few generations back, to the responsive and indulgent parenting of this style often brings great shocks for parents who believe they have done all they can to raise their children in a loving environment.

Often children from permissive homes, because of the high responsiveness from parents, have good self-esteem and better social skills, however they are also more likely to be involved in problem behaviour and be less motivated in school,through not having been held accountable for their own behaviour.

Permissive parents are more likely to also be overprotective parents too. This brings with it another whole new set of problems for the children who tend to be drowned and smothered by their parents.

Just as an upbringing with strict rules and punishments produces children who are more likely to have an external, rather than internal, moral code of conduct for themselves, so it is with children from the permissive parenting style.


Are you a permissive parent?

Is this your style of parenting?

Authoritative Parenting Style
Uninvolved
Authoritarian
Over-Protective Parenting Styles.





From Permissive Parenting Style back to Parenting Styles

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