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Parenting
Styles
Understanding parenting
styles theory is a good way for
us to become more conscious of our own parenting.
The different styles
influence a parents' attempts to control and socialize
their children.
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It is always a good idea to
consistently check in with
ourselves so as to be conscious about the ways we ourselves parent.
This
article on parenting styles is not to advocate following a particular
style, but rather to enable us to be 'conscious' and therefore informed
within and around our own approach. |
Parenting
Styles Theory
I believe it is useful to discuss the theories of different parenting
styles so
as to
help raise the awareness of our own concept of parenting.
It is not
any specific practice in parenting, such as setting rules or using
timeouts, that is useful in
predicting our children's wellbeing. Rather, it is the broad
overall pattern of our parenting, commonly referred to as our parenting
style, which determines our children's security and future happiness.
Diana
Baumrind
The four basic types of parenting styles, which were originally
outlined and discussed by psychologist Diana Baumrind, are a good place
to begin.
Each of these types of parenting reflects
different patterns of
parental
values, practices, and behaviors, and a distinct balance of
responsiveness and demandingness.
In Diana Baumrind's dimensions of parenting styles there are two
important essentials:
Are
parents responsive or non responsive to the child?
Are
parents demanding or non-demanding of the child?
Responsiveness
can be seen as the amount of warmth and support given by the parents.
Demandingness
refers to the parents' willingness to set expectations for their
children in terms of behaviour.
Click on
the headings of each of the following 4 styles to
read the articles which discuss the differences
in Diana Baumrind's four prototypes.
Authoritative:
- The parent is both responsive and
demanding.
- Uses reason and encourages give and take.
- Recognizes, values and affirms the
child's individual qualities while also setting standards for conduct.
Permissive:
- The parent is responsive but undemanding.
- This style is also referred to as
indulgent or non directive.
- Is accepting and affirmative of the child
but makes few demands for responsibility or conduct.
Uninvolved:
- The parent is unresponsive and
undemanding.
- This style is often toxic to the child
through being both neglectful and rejecting to the child.
Non-confrontational.
- Usually psychologically unavailable to
the child.
Authoritarian:
- The parent is demanding but not
responsive.
- Attempts to control to an absolute
standard.
- Values obedience and does not encourage
give and take.
I invite you to explore these ideas and find where you fit.
The media makes much of the parenting style of being overprotective or over parenting at present.
How about overprotective parenting as a style?
Read more about over parenting.
How about helicopter parenting?
Here is an interesting article called The Parent Trap
In
this article the writer talks about the 'professionalism of
parenthood' in a culture of hyper-parenting and soaring expectations.
As
you read and absorb the messages in these parenting styles, take the
time to really look at your own style of parenting and ask yourself:
Which is your style?
Does it fit for you and your children?
Can you see your own level of responsiveness and demandingness?
Is there a difference in the style of parenting for gender? Take a look at:
Parenting-boys.com
Because
boys will be boys, an experienced mom of two boys shares with you her
knowledge and research into the topic of boy parenting, to give you the
answers you need to help you parent your boy.
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