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Parenting Styles 

Understanding parenting styles theory is a good way for us to become more conscious of our own parenting.

The different styles influence a parents' attempts to control and socialize their children.  

It is always a good idea to consistently check in with ourselves so as to be conscious about the ways we ourselves parent.

This article on parenting styles is not to advocate following a particular style, but rather to enable us to be 'conscious' and therefore informed within and around our own approach. 

Parenting Styles Theory

I believe it is useful to discuss the theories of different parenting styles so as to help raise the awareness of our own concept of parenting.

It is not any specific practice in parenting, such as setting rules or using timeouts, that is useful in predicting our children's wellbeing.  Rather, it is the broad overall pattern of our parenting, commonly referred to as our parenting style, which determines our children's security and future happiness.


Diana Baumrind

The four basic types of parenting styles, which were originally outlined and discussed by psychologist Diana Baumrind, are a good place to begin.

Each of these types of parenting reflects different patterns of parental values, practices, and behaviors, and a distinct balance of responsiveness and demandingness.

In Diana Baumrind's dimensions of parenting styles there are two important essentials:

Are parents responsive or non responsive to the child?

Are  parents demanding or non-demanding of the child?

Responsiveness can be seen as the amount of warmth and support given by the parents.

Demandingness refers to the parents' willingness to set expectations for their children in terms of behaviour.

Click on the headings of each of the following 4 styles to read the articles which discuss the differences in Diana Baumrind's four prototypes.

Authoritative:
  • The parent is both responsive and demanding.
  • Uses reason and encourages give and take.
  • Recognizes, values and affirms the child's individual qualities while also setting standards for conduct.

Permissive:
  • The parent is responsive but undemanding.  
  • This style is also referred to as indulgent or non directive.
  • Is accepting and affirmative of the child but makes few demands for responsibility or conduct.
Uninvolved:
  • The parent is unresponsive and undemanding.
  • This style is often toxic to the child through being both neglectful and rejecting to the child. Non-confrontational.
  • Usually psychologically unavailable to the child.

Authoritarian:
  • The parent is demanding but not responsive.
  • Attempts to control to an absolute standard.
  • Values obedience and does not encourage give and take.

I invite you to explore these ideas and find where you fit.

The media makes much of the parenting style of being overprotective or over parenting at present.

How about overprotective parenting as a style?

Read more about over parenting.

How about helicopter parenting?  

Here is an interesting article called The Parent Trap

In this article the writer talks about the 'professionalism of parenthood' in a culture of hyper-parenting and soaring expectations.

As you read and absorb the messages in these parenting styles, take the time to really look at your own style of parenting and ask yourself:

Which is your style?  
Does it fit for you and your children?
Can you see your own level of responsiveness and demandingness?


Is there a difference in the style of parenting for gender? Take a look at:
Parenting-boys.com
Because boys will be boys, an experienced mom of two boys shares with you her knowledge and research into the topic of boy parenting, to give you the answers you need to help you parent your boy.




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