I have found your web site interesting as it feels like you are saying everything that I should already know about parenting. It seems that to 'be consistent' is tried and true.
However, my experience is that me and all my friends are always looking out for what is new for babies in our parenting and end up all over the place.
After reading about sleeping troubles on your consistent website, I started to think that maybe that's what's wrong with how I handle things. I'm just not at all consistent.
I usually read heaps of different books and websites and try to follow what they are doing. Then I feel like what I do is bits of every body else's ideas and I'm just all over the place.
My question is how do I find a parenting way I can trust? Something that is tried and true?Thanks,
Hi there Justine,
You raise some interesting points about what happens if you follow media fads and trends in parenting. Yes, there is so much available today that it's certainly difficult to find your own voice in it all.
Being able to be consistent within yourself as a person, and as a mother, however, is a sure sign that you know yourself well and trust your own ideas.
Yes, tried and true is very often a proven way, but don't turn your back on some of the new for babies ideas and advice which also have plenty of merit.
For instance, babies were once always put to sleep on their sides or their tummies. New research reveals that because of the increased risk of cot death, babies need to sleep on their backs.
The best place to start is with the awareness that you have an inbuilt mothering instinct that can, and will guide you as you learn to listen to it. I suspect this is your first baby and that finding your way through the minefield of advice is just as experimental for your friends too.
Be honest with each other about your doubts and fears. Talk with older mothers and grandmothers too, as well as young mothers. Look carefully at all the ways that have worked well for you already and try to be more selective with techniques and ideas from others before making them your own.Be discerning in your reading
Firstly, identify the parenting style and approach of the author and make a decision about whether it fits into the parenting style that seems 'right' for you.
Read about different parenting styles to gain some clarity on this topic.
Don't rush and hurry into something just because it seems new and interesting. Try to monitor your awareness more, by asking yourself if you need to make someone else's way a rule of your own, or if your intuition is showing you a clearer way that feels more right for you.
Your baby will thrive on consistent, firm and clear routines. This often sounds boring to new mothers but if you stop and think about it, it makes perfect sense. Your baby is soaking up so much new information that being consistent in your routines provides the emotional safety your baby needs to thrive and means that you stop feeling 'all over the place'.
As you grow into your mothering experience, you will find your own patterns start to flow more smoothly and naturally.
I suggest you begin a discussion group on this topic with your friends as a means of helping each of you become more clear within yourselves.
One day you will look back and see that a smooth and natural way of parenting has developed that you recognise as your own.Thank you for this valuable question about what's new for babies.
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