Parents are often first alerted to low self esteem signs in their children when their child mentions falling out with another child at school.

Or maybe your child's teacher mentions that your child has become withdrawn or stopped socialising with particular friends.




As a parent we all want our children to have friends and respond well to others.

When our child attempts to discuss some incidence of unrest at school we need to be vigilant about listening for low self esteem signs by gently drawing them out without being too heavy or dramatic.

We need to also remember that children often don't have the language skills to understand what is happening for them or what their feelings are telling them, let alone adequately explain feelings of hurt or pain to someone else.

Some low self esteem signs in children:

• Your child seems discouraged and reluctant to attend school.
• Your child often makes negative statements about himself or others.
• Your child lacks enthusiasm for projects that would normally excite him.
• Shows reluctance to become involved in something new.
• Often puts others or himself down, especially siblings.
• Starts bullying behaviour toward others.


• Has a tendency to blame others rather than owning responsibility for his own behaviour.
• Shows strong inability to cope with a failure.
• Gives up quickly and offers excuses such as boredom or tiredness.
• Inappropriate behaviour such as acting silly, tomfoolery or clowning.

Learning difficulties and low self esteem often go hand in hand and parents and teachers owe it to the child to take special care around areas the child can excel in, rather than over concentrating on the difficulties.

How children handle making mistakes is often a clear indicator of low self esteem.

Children who are quickly discouraged and then engage in lots of negative self talk, show strong signs of low self esteem.

We have a responsibility as parents to monitor our own reactions to our children's mistakes. Our response to an accidental breakage or to their their carelessness can contribute greatly to a child's negative sense of self.

Children who feel defeated are less likely to ask for help and tend to retreat rather than respond to different ways of tackling a problem.

Low Self Esteem Signs - Boost Your Child:

Spend Regular one - on - one Time With Your Child

Have a regular dinner date, just the two of you, or go for a walk together. Never underestimate the power of quality time and attention for a child in today's busy family lifestyles.

Make sure that eavery day your child knows and feels your individaul love and care. In our busy lives, it is easy to overlook our child's needs for attention.

It greatly boosts a child's self esteem to be singled out and made to feel special by one parent or the other.

Give your child quality time and attention and create a safe space for warm, gentle conversation.

Create situations where your child's skills and enthusiasm can be freely expressed and remember to let your children experience regular opportunities for advancement.

Help your child to find the words to express his feelings.

You can do this by sharing yours as you recall similar incidents in your childhood - by reading together, through playing together, and by spending gentle, loving time together.

Time and gentle, loving attention go a great way towards boosting self esteem.

Self Esteem Affirmations

Ways to Improve Self Esteem

Get into the habit of telling your children:

I noticed today that you were easily on time.

I noticed how thoughtful you were.

I saw you really thinking carefully.

Reinforce their self esteem by noticing, by consideration, and by listening.

Bedtime is a wonderful opportunity to observe ways to improve self esteem. Before your children go off to sleep talk about the day together.

Let them know that you observe, respect and consider them.

Help them to reach upwards towards their best potential by giving them opportunities for practice.

Read about Raising Confident Children

From Low Self Esteem Signs back to Raising Children