Why are my kids fighting with each other?
There are many different reasons for kids to start fighting - but very
often it boredom is the main reason.
Many parents find that rainy days during the school holidays are when
their children fight the most.
Yes, when boredom sets in, fighting is a great way to relieve it!
When my children were growing up, we had several different ways of
dealing with boredom and kids fighting.
here are some ideas:
Kids Fighting? Parents - Don't Always Intervene
Often my children repaired themselves far more easily without parental
interference. I did check to make sure they weren't hurting each other,
but nine times out of ten, they resolved it themselves.
parental interference provoked an all out war! So my first
suggestion would be leave them to sort it out for themselves.
Kids Fighting? - Run off that negative energy!
If we really needed to call in the
United Nations peace keeping forces
because things had escalated, then the children knew they would be told
to don raincoats and go outside to run their negative energy off.
We were lucky to have a large back yard and the children were expected
to run hard several times right around the house. It never
failed to surprise me how their attitudes had changed by the time they
ran back in, usually laughing. Often they were deeply
involved in planning their next project together as they ran back in
the door, struggling to get their coats off quickly enough to get on
with their great idea!
Kids Fighting? - Plan exciting projects
At times, what was needed was a bit of direction from the adults. For
many years I had a wonderful book called, What to do when there's nothing to do!
There are many books like this at your local
Here are some of the book's suggestions:
Kids Fighting? - Make a Rainy Day Box
- Put on a concert
- Build an indoor hut
- Do some baking
- Make papier mache
- Hold a flower show
- Play schools
- Create a library
- Paint a giant mural
- Get out the blocks
- Hunt through the board games
- Make a soap carving each
- Act out a play
This takes some planning and foresight, but I remember it never failed! By
planning ahead, you can maintain a supply of different boxes which you
fill with materials for creative projects.
One box could hold: glue, glitter, stickers, new colouring books,
paints, large roll of paper, sellotape, scissors, hole punch, coloured
Another box could contain: card games, new board games, and shop bought
creative projests such as beads, mosaics, or other handcrafts.
Another box could
contain a large variety of dress-up clothes, including hats, shoes,
bags and other props.
The idea is that the contents of the boxes are 'new' and unseen
beforehand - a total surprise to the children. Only one box
at a time is brought out and creative parents help out with suggestions
for use before fading into the background.
Kids Fighting? - Parents - stop what you are doing
and get involved!
Get involved with your children's play - be in the concert, help with
the props, take books out of their 'library', take part in the hut
building - but do it all from their perspective - don't take over - let
your creativity have free rein and play like a child with them.
Sometimes your involvement is all they need to get themselves
started on a wonderful project!
Wise parents know
when to leave them alone also.
Be really creative!
Drive to the local sawmill and have the kids fill the boot with wood off cuts
to build with. Not only do they make great build blocks, they
can be hammered and sawn.
Run a planning meeting and listen to all the suggestions your chuildren
can come up with.
Sometimes really simple, fun ideas are just
sitting there waiting to happen and kids fighting stops when boredom