consistent parenting advice consistent parenting advice

How to Build Self Confidence

how to build self confidence

How to Build Self Confidence?

Encourage risk taking

Commend your children

Don't do it for them!

Step back and allow your children the opportunities to get the experience for themselves.

How to Build Self Confidence:
Don't Solve Your Children's Problems For Them

Don't solve your children's problems for them!

Instead, see the problem as an opportunity for learning and growth and set them up with the chance to overcome the problem themselves within reason.
raising confident children
Many parents allow their children to avoid reasonably challenging situations so they won't be inconvenienced themselves.

Your children know when you will bail them out, and when you aren't being totally honest, and they will muster their skills to have you rescue them.

Try to separate out from feeling sorry for your children when you see them placed in awkward situations.

For instance, uneasy relationships between children often develop on the school playground.

These are tremendous learning opportunities - discuss them - talk out the problem - but don't rush in to fix it!

Often many of your buttons are pushed in these situations. However, if you aren't careful, you can 'repair' something that isn't actually the problem. It just feels like it because it often feels similar to your own childhood experience.

Let your child do the fixing and call yourself out when you know you are interfering.

Interfering is a difficult word to use when describing care of children. However if you are honest with yourself, interfering with your children's decision making abilities is the right name for your attempts to monitor and control them.

Do take the time to look at this concept in terms of your parenting style. Understanding the difference between interfering with and enabling your children, provides for very powerful parenting.

Interfering is not enabling behaviour, but produces fearful, timid children who lack confidence and decision making skills.

It's hard to think of loving parenting as over-parenting or over protective parenting, but the line is crossed so easily and is often hard to go back on.

How to Build Self Confidence?
Encourage Risk Taking in Your Children

Encourage Risk Taking

Have lots of open-ended conversations with your children to help them question how they would cope with different situations.

Sprinkle you speech with open ended questions - use the six starting words.
How, Why, What, Who, When, Where.

Engage in conversations that begin with -

  • What do you think will happen if you do that, or don't do that?
  • How would you handle it?
  • Where would you go?
  • Why would you suggest that?
  • When do you think that's appropriate?
  • Who would you ask?

  • This encourages your children to think for themselves.

    Listen to how you speak to your kids

    Do you tell, or do you suggest?

    Do you talk or do you listen?

    Building self confidence is about building self esteem. Self esteem tools come through communication.

    Raising Confident Children:
    Commend Them

    Let Them Know - Commend Them

    If you set up situations for your children to practice their confidence with, you are also giving yourself opportunities to commend them for their thinking, their actions and their attempts.

    raising confident children Make the most of these.

    Get into the habit of telling them:

  • I noticed today that you were easily on time.

  • I noticed how thoughtful you were.

  • I saw you really thinking carefully.

  • Reinforce their confidence by noticing, by consideration, and by listening.

    Bedtime is a wonderful opportunity to reinforce all their goodness.Before your children go off to sleep thank them for their input into your family life.

    Let them know that you observe, respect and consider them.

    Help them to reach upwards towards their best potential by giving them opportunities for practice.

    Don't Do it For Them!

    Read about Raising Confident Children

    Free Newsletter

    Subscribe to
    Be Consistent
    to receive monthly tips, ideas, quotes and updates from Consistent Parenting. Enjoy!




    Don't worry - your e-mail address is totally secure.
    I promise to use it only to send you
    Be Consistent.

    Site News:

    Visit our sister site!
    authentic self
    How to become
    your authentic self

    Recommended Sites:

    A comprehensive baby books guide
    for the under 3's.

    Our Reviews
    "This is a informative and highly intellegently written blog. your site is very relevant and well constructed, I admire you as a writer."

    "Terrific site! You have so many good tips for parenting and they all make a lot of sense! Particularly useful is the section on discipline as this is an area where many parents come unstuck. Thanks for the sound advice."

    "This is a very helpful and informative site on Parenting. It's a must have for all parents. Very nice layout, navigation and content."

    "I think it is great that you are using your experiences to teach other parents. Your site is laid out nicely and has many useful links. Thank you for passing along such great information to parents!"

    "Great site. I love all the parenting advice. I sure could use some. The page loads quickly and the layout is great. Love the colors."

    "Very nice site,loads quickly and navigation is smooth.Very soothing blue and white layout.There is a lot of wonderful information here.I was reading the self esteem section,these things are so important,and it will be a great help if people discover this site and are enlightened by these simple words."

    Get your own reviews, free traffic at

    What is this?
    Add to My Yahoo!
    Add to My MSN
    Add to Google

    Top Health Blogger - Wellsphere

    ADD TO YOUR SOCIAL BOOKMARKS: add to BlinkBlink add to add to DiggDigg
    add to FurlFurl add to GoogleGoogle add to SimpySimpy add to SpurlSpurl Bookmark at TechnoratiTechnorati add to YahooY! MyWeb
    | Home | Contact Me | Links | Link to us | Privacy Policy| Blog|
    Copyright© 2007-2011.Consistent Parenting
    Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape