This would be the question I am asked most often, usually by despairing parents at their wits end.
There is a quick and simple answer to this perplexing question of discipline children.
is usually very difficult to see a way through deep seated behaviour
problems such as refusal to eat, poor sleeping routines, temper
tantrums, and stubborn refusals to co-operate.
So how can we as parents
discipline children by being clear, firm and consistent when our
discipline problems have become acute?
Read more in the following case
study taken from real life.
intelligent little two year old who is reaching all her
growth milestones quickly and filling her parents with pride.
Unfortunately for both Sophie and her exhausted parents, a
sleep has become a thing of the past. Sophie is a nightmare
into bed, sometimes taking several hours to settle and only manages to
have a day time nap if her parents drive her around in the car.
Their adult social life is at an all time low, and their previously strong
marriage is suffering. Because this state of affairs has become deep
seated and long term, Sophie's parents cannot see any way out of this.
solution came about through Sophie's mother's persistence in
following the clear, firm, consistent guidelines.
With a strongly supportive partner, Sophie's mother maintained a steady, reliable
bedtime routine to which Sophie adjusted with amazing speed - you could say she almost appeared relieved!
Within a week Sophie's parents were also maintaining clear, firm, consistent guidelines too. Sophie was sleeping for two hours each day, tucked warmly into her
own bed instead of needing to be driven to sleep in the car. She was also sliding easily into a deep, relaxing sleep for twelve
hours every night.
A year later, Sophie's parents report that
Sophie's sleeping habits have continued to be calm and trouble free, and their
own life is more structured and less chaotic.
Discipline Children - What Did Sophie's Parents Do?
Explaining clearly what she expected from Sophie was no problem for Sophie's
intelligent, articulate mother.
However,learning how to be
firm and consistent required a self disciplined and structured approach for both Sophie's parents!
The bad news is that lack of consistency by parents is often
the root and cause of sleep problems in toddlers
to begin with and in basic dicipline children problems too.
It is the parent's lack of firm, consistent
behaviour which usually establishes sleep problems in young babies.
Exhaustion often means that parents
follow the line of least resistance, allowing the child to stay up until they drop
through tiredness. This means that no-one gets the required amount of sleep, and so the cycle is perpetuated.
Being consistent requires effort, thought, consideration, planning and awareness. It takes time to begin with, however the rewards of staying consistent are wonderful
and being consistent quickly becomes part of everyday life in terms of discipline children.
Discipline Children - The Good News
The good news is that in the same way the parents have created the problem by being inconsistent,
they can also undo it, by spending controlled time working together
consistently, firmly and clearly.
The payoff for parents is that their
consistent behaviour leads to greater maturity both personally and in
Children thrive on kindness, attention and
consistent routines which establish good habits and of course everyone
is better off with a good nights sleep!
Years of experience in parenting problems have proven to me that families with
the most problems concerning the discipline of children usually contain
adults who live with inconsistency, uncertainty, and lack of self discipline
and routine in their own lives.
Firm, clear and CONSISTENT
adherence to daily routines creates both sociable, happy children and calm,
As parents, by looking first to our own approach to life, we can often
quickly right the discipline children problems we have created
Discipline Children Discipline is NOT about punishment
Effective discipline has nothing to do with any form of physical abuse towards children.
Discipline is NOT about smacking, spanking or hitting.
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