Discipline and children is not about enforcing our will on them, breaking them, or punishing them into obedience.

Parents who realise this discipline young children in a calm, clear and consistent way and reap the benefit of a warm, well adjusted and happy child and household.

Responsive parents, who discipline young children with consistent, firm and clear guidelines, reflect their ability to make good choices in their own adult life.

These parents tend to show good self discipline in their own lifestyle and so for them, being consistent is a continuation of their normal attitude to life.

As parents we model behaviour for our children to follow. It stands to reason that if a child repeatedly sees their mother or father act out of control, then they will copy and mimic this behaviour. This point is so obvious that it seems unnecessary to write about it, but time and again I have witnessed parents doing one thing and expecting the opposite from their children.

• No wonder these children are so often distressed, anxious, agitated and out of control.
• Even very small children are aware of the emotional responses their parents make.
• As parents we are constantly under observation by these little loved ones.
• This makes it plain that our children's ability to make good choices is in our hands.

How do we Rectify our own Behaiour?

• Make it your mission and purpose to get help for your reactions

• Don't be frightened to look at your own behaviour

• Seek expert help and advice if needed, to look at your own emotional choices

• Clarify for yourself how your behaviour impacts on your household

• Explain it to your partner as best you can and ask for their help and support

• Write out your parenting goals so you have clarity

• Have a buddy as your support system

• Begin today with the aim of being consistent, firm and clear with yourself and your children

Read more about understanding your emotions

In Summary:

• When it comes to discipline and children, first look at your own behaviour.

• Often your negative emotional response to events creates negative behavioural reactions in your children.

• No-one else can change your behaviour except yourself, but when you are able to check your own negative responses, often your children will respond quickly.

With parenting discipline we are teaching our children how to have self control, self discipline and to become self reliant, so they are able to make good choices for themselves.

This means not over protecting them, or doing everything for them, but maximizing their opportunities to learn through personal experience and observation, even when this means making mistakes.

• The only way children can learn to do this is by being given the opportunities for this learning.

• Clear, firm, consistent parenting is quality parenting.

• As parents we model behaviour for our children to follow.

How to Discipline Children Discipline is NOT about punishment Effective discipline has nothing to do with any form of physical abuse towards children. Discipline is NOT about smacking, spanking or hitting.

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