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Developing Self Confidence

Developing self confidence
is about believing in our own abilities.


A growing child's developing self confidence reflects both positive interactions with his environment and a growing trust in others and himself.

developing self confidence Self confidence is about having a belief in our own abilities.

It is the inner assurance that we can trust ourselves, be self reliant and have faith in our own choices and judgments.

This inner belief or self confidence is usually mirrored back to us through our interactions with others and so our competence is further enforced.

Ideally, self confidence is best developed early in life and maintained with awareness as we mature.

Early, positive, repetitive nurturing, provides the pattern or blueprint for your child on which his sense of self confidence is formed.



Praise Your Children Often:

Build on every positive step they take by letting them know that you see them.

consistent parenting advice Praise them for:

  • good decision making
  • for acknowledging mistakes
  • for truth telling
  • for honesty
  • for being polite
  • for just being themselves
  • .

    Steps Toward Developing Self Confidence:

    • Don't make comparisons

    • Comparisons between children are odious at the best of times. A child can be quickly undermined if he feels he is being compared with a sibling or friend. Self acceptance is a large component of self confidence.
    • Try not to undermine his ability
      Even in simple play, parents often unknowingly undermine their children. Simply saying, "Here, let me do that for you," can be enough to squash a child's inner confidence. Suggest instead, "Can you see another way you could try that?"
    • Encourage social interaction
      Regular contact with other children and their families is a great way of developing self confidence in social situations. Remember to mirror for your child confidence and ease with others.
    • Be consistent
      A child with strong, familiar boundaries has more opportunities for self confidence as he is exposed to fewer fearful situations. Regular, consistent, dependable routines encourage confidence in everyday life.
    • Regular, safe exposure to new situations
      Introduce your child to different and unfamiliar playgrounds, walks, and people. Encourage him to explore. Take part in different sports, musical activities, interests.
    • Explain, educate, talk, listen
      Communicate your feelings, hopes, fears and dreams. Help your child to discuss his feelings with you rather than to push them down or away. Teach him to say "I feel sad, mad, happy, good, etc."
    • Encourage, praise, comment, support, cheer on
      Every night tell your child something great that you noticed about him that day.
       "I really liked the way you helped your mother set the table, played with your sister, read your story, etc."
      Allow him to work with you as you cook, clean, garden and do household chores. It is especially important for fathers to remember to allow and encourage their children to work alongside them.

    • Play with your child a lot
      This sends the direct message to your child that he is valued and loved. it tells him that his ideas are worthwhile, that just being with him is important to you, and it enables the teaching of valuable skills about fair play.

      Being singled out as the focus of attention by a parent creates enormous inner strength in children. This action speaks louder than many words to a child and consistent amounts of time spent in this way greatly contribute to his developing confidence and well being.

    • Give your child responsibilities
      Even very young children thrive on a position of responsibility. They can fetch, put away, tidy, clean, pack up. As they grow, write out chore charts for your children. Regularly having a part to play in family life brings the rewards of belonging with it.
      developing self confidence
    • Hug your children often
      Warm, loving, family touch feeds self confidence. Showing with actions what you feel within speaks loudly to children. Teach them how to reciprocate as a way of expressing their inner feelings. use language to express also.

    • Encourage actions requiring confidence
      Show them how - don't do it for them. Give them opportunities for mastery, and regularly seek out ways of extending their abilities so that your children learn to reach out and embrace new opportunities.
    Build Self Confidence in Your Child through Speech and Drama
    Write-out-loud.com shows how Speech and Drama activities are an ideal way to build self confidence in a child. If you have a child who is anxious or afraid of speaking up in front of a class, adults, or perhaps even their peers, these suggestions and activities will help you to help them. The positive benefits will spill over into all areas of their lives.

    Developing Self Confidence in Parents

    How you feel about yourself
    affects how you act towards others


    Parents with a lack of self confidence can often unwittingly project their negative self-worth onto their children.

    developing self confeidence Raising your confidence levels will also rub off on those around you. So, by increasing your own confidence, you're also helping those you come in contact with.

    This is great news for parents who lack confidence. Becoming parents can sometimes be the encouragement we need to seek help for ourselves.

    The first step toward becoming consistent in our thoughts and actions is taken in developing self confidence. If you feel you are low on confidence as a parent, I suggest you help your self forward by finding encouraging reading material, by joining confidence raising groups, and by speaking to those closest to you about how you feel low in confidence.

    By seeking help and asking others to encourage us, we can begin to grow and move forwards together.

    If you have problems in developing self confidence that are affecting your parenting do get professional help. In parenting our children, we can re-parent ourselves.

    I recommend this website, Life With Confidence which gives great information on how to build your own self confidence as an adult.

    Other articles in this series:

    Self Esteem

    Low self esteem signs in children

    What is self respect?

    Positive self talk

    Self Pity

    Healthy self image

    Self Control



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