Developing Self Confidence

Praise Your Children Often:

Steps Toward Developing Self Confidence:

• Don't make comparisons

Comparisons between children are odious at the best of times. A child can be quickly undermined if he feels he is being compared with a sibling or friend. Self acceptance is a large component of self confidence.

• Try not to undermine his ability
  Even in simple play, parents often unknowingly undermine their children. Simply saying, "Here, let me do that for you," can be enough to squash a child's inner confidence. Suggest instead, "Can you see another way you could try that?"
  
• Encourage social interaction
  Regular contact with other children and their families is a great way of developing self confidence in social situations. Remember to mirror for your child confidence and ease with others.
  
• Be consistent
  A child with strong, familiar boundaries has more opportunities for self confidence as he is exposed to fewer fearful situations. Regular, consistent, dependable routines encourage confidence in everyday life.
  
• Regular, safe exposure to new situations
  Introduce your child to different and unfamiliar playgrounds, walks, and people. Encourage him to explore. Take part in different sports, musical activities, interests.
  
• Explain, educate, talk, listen
  Communicate your feelings, hopes, fears and dreams. Help your child to discuss his feelings with you rather than to push them down or away. Teach him to say "I feel sad, mad, happy, good, etc."
  
• Encourage, praise, comment, support, cheer on
  Every night tell your child something great that you noticed about him that day.
   "I really liked the way you helped your mother set the table, played with your sister, read your story, etc."
  Allow him to work with you as you cook, clean, garden and do household chores. It is especially important for fathers to remember to allow and encourage their children to work alongside them.
  
  
• Play with your child a lot
  This sends the direct message to your child that he is valued and loved. it tells him that his ideas are worthwhile, that just being with him is important to you, and it enables the teaching of valuable skills about fair play.
  
  Being singled out as the focus of attention by a parent creates enormous inner strength in children. This action speaks louder than many words to a child and consistent amounts of time spent in this way greatly contribute to his developing confidence and well being.
  
  
• Give your child responsibilities
  Even very young children thrive on a position of responsibility. They can fetch, put away, tidy, clean, pack up. As they grow, write out chore charts for your children. Regularly having a part to play in family life brings the rewards of belonging with it.
  
• Hug your children often
  Warm, loving, family touch feeds self confidence. Showing with actions what you feel within speaks loudly to children. Teach them how to reciprocate as a way of expressing their inner feelings. use language to express also.
  
  
• Encourage actions requiring confidence
  Show them how - don't do it for them. Give them opportunities for mastery, and regularly seek out ways of extending their abilities so that your children learn to reach out and embrace new opportunities.
  

Developing Self Confidence in Parents

How you feel about yourself
affects how you act towards others

Parents with a lack of self confidence can often unwittingly project their negative self-worth onto their children.

Raising your confidence levels will also rub off on those around you. So, by increasing your own confidence, you're also helping those you come in contact with.

This is great news for parents who lack confidence. Becoming parents can sometimes be the encouragement we need to seek help for ourselves.

The first step toward becoming consistent in our thoughts and actions is taken in developing self confidence. If you feel you are low on confidence as a parent, I suggest you help your self forward by finding encouraging reading material, by joining confidence raising groups, and by speaking to those closest to you about how you feel low in confidence.

By seeking help and asking others to encourage us, we can begin to grow and move forwards together.

If you have problems in developing self confidence that are affecting your parenting do get professional help. In parenting our children, we can re-parent ourselves.

I recommend this website, Life With Confidence which gives great information on how to build your own self confidence as an adult.

Other articles in this series:

Self Esteem

Low self esteem signs in children

What is self respect?

Positive self talk

Self Pity

Healthy self image

Self Control

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From Developing Self Confidence - Back to Raising Children