What Is Consistent Parenting?
What Does it Mean to Be Consistent?
To be consistent is to be reliable,dependable and constant.
These words immediately convey comfort don't they?
Being reliable means that you can be trusted. When I think of the people I can trust, the first thought that comes to mind is that I know if they say they will do something, they will do it. If they say they will be on time they are on time. I have every confidence in my expectations of them.
Is this how you want to be seen by your children?
Is this how you would like to see your children become?
Being dependable means that you are steady and responsible. Aren't these the values you would like your children to learn from you?
Being constant means to be stable, regular and even in your approach.
Doesn't this make you feel comfortable and safe?
Does Being Consistent Mean We Can't Make Changes?
So being consistent is not about being stuck, and unchanging.
Consistent Parenting is about understanding what we mean, and carrying out our intuitive parenting by being reliable, authentic, dependable and constant.
It means being consistent in striving for the best for ourselves and our children - looking after our emotional maturity as parents - recognizing when we could do better and acknowledging when we have done well in our parenting.
It means saying what you mean clearly, being firm with your intent, and then being consistent with your actions.
HOW Can We Be Consistent?
Being consistent in our approach is easier if this behavior has been modelled for us by our own parents. However, we are able to make the choice to change our parenting approach to become more consistent.
Read here about Toxic Parenting and Parenting Styles
Often, we are unreliable and change our minds simply because we just haven't thought through all the consequences clearly - rather like engaging your mouth before your brain! For example:
If you make statements to your children like this -
From now on you kids are going to be responsible for cleaning up your toys before bedtime -
you then need to follow that through! That means setting in motion the activity that you intend to happen.
Now if your children then create a fuss, suddenly have lots of homework, grizzle and complain,or make themselves scarce, it is easier if you just tidy up all the toys. At least that gets them cleaned up anyway! However, your children have learned several vital lessons from your actions.
1. Mum does not mean what she says.
2. If I create a scene I can get away with it
3. Mum will do it anyway!
A wonderful lesson around care, family responsibilities, and consequences is lost.
Care - because it provides an opportunity to take care of one's personal environment for the sake of others
Responsibility - cleaning up provides opportunities for taking control and making decisions
Consequences - playing with toys and spreading them out requires putting them away as well.
CONSISTENT PARENTING AND DISCIPLINE
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