consistent parenting advice
consistent parenting advice

Children Chores and Responsibility

What is your attiude around children chores and repsponsbility?


Some parents ask if children should do chores, believing that it's not their responsibility to cook or clean.

Other parents believe that children learn responsibility and necessary experience for life by regularly doing their part in household chores.

What do you think?

Here is a question that has been posted by Angie.

Should a 10 year old, 3 months shy of 11, be reminded to do his chores?
The chore list has been posted for 3 years.

My husband thinks he should be reminded. I believe he should not.
How is he to learn responsibility if he is reminded?
.


Hi there Angie,

I believe this question raises a very good point about responsibility. It also provides a good opportunity to discuss attitudes around the setting of chores within families.

children chores, responsibility

Firstly, let's address the chore list that has been posted for 3 years. Time for a change?

Why not mix it up a little? If you are having family discussions about your son's sense of responsibility, it seems to me that this is a good time to change things around.

How about finding a middle ground together over reminding your son?

As in most things, balance is needed here.

I would suggest that if you see it as encouragement or support instead of reminding, that way of looking at it will go a long way towards creating harmony and even fun with chores. When it begins to feel like life in the army, and if your approach is dictatorial, then the children tend to only see the irksome side rather than feeling that they are showing their value within their family.

Responsibility is learned in stages and every year of life brings greater depth to the notion of being responsible. It is also about gaining self respect, self esteem, self confidence and forging a strong self image - all of these are part of an ongoing learning curve.

Children Chores and Change -

How about beginning again with the chores list and seeing what suggestions for change come from your family?

Maybe there are different ways you could approach the daily tasks and provide more incentive for your son to take more responsibility. Maybe your son can come up with some good ideas for change.

children chores, change

A bit of competition, some jollying along, a different schedule or sometimes a surprising reward, can freshen up your approach and alleviate the stress that can often become set up with the chore roster.

Children Chores and Effective Parenting

Effective parenting provides great opportunities for children to have a say in their family life and to contribute help in return for what they receive.

Effective parents provide opportunities for their children to learn decision making, conscientious thinking, and to provide help for others.

Some families call this doing chores! Others call it being a valued family member.

A great way to work out how much your child is capable of doing is to ask yourself if you are doing a job that he is absolutely capable of. Children need opportunities to show what they are capable of and to learn self respect as well as responsibility. They can always do with truck loads of encouragement too!

Children Chores and War!

Unfortunately, doing chores can become a real battle ground and turn into all out war in some cases. I believe families are missing the point when this occurs.

There is not much lesson learning or forward planning going on in the mind of a sulky, belligerent youngster who constantly feels coerced. There is no sense of his being a contributor when this is the case. Instead it feels as though he must give his pound of flesh or be punished.

Work with your children - this brings wonderful opportunities to children chores really listen and talk with them while you work alongside them.

children chores

Each child has their own unique way of being. Working together around the house is a great way of learning more about each child's uniqueness and this allows them opportunities to do things in their own way.

Mix it up!

Surprise is a great incentive.

I really believe in responsibility for children, but I also believe that boring routines take away the sense of thinking for one's self too.

By encouraging your child to observe, think and act for himself, you provide him with very real opportunities to shine and for you to supply encouragement.

Children Chores and Growing Up

Without the responsibility of regularly helping around the house how do children learn to be prepared for life?

It is also our responsibility as parents to prepare our children for the wider world of leaving home to run their own lives and knowing how to cook, clean, budget, shop, plan, buy clothes and be prepared makes this a much easier task for them.

Those years from infancy to adulthood fly past. Your children will thank you for preparing them for life.


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